Have you ever said something along the lines of “the problem with me is I’m simply not disciplined enough to *insert health goal here*”
“If only I were more disciplined, I would be able to cut down on sugar; workout 3x/wk; prepare healthy food; get 8 hours of sleep; stop watching after 1 episode…”
Sound familiar?
And I’m going to guess that you beat yourself up for not being disciplined enough… After all, guilt is the emotional response we get when we fall short of what we think are the expectations or standards – whether they are appropriate or not.
At the same time, you look at your token healthy friend and think: “man! I wish I was as disciplined as Jane, nothing gets in her way of making it to the gym…”
We’ve been taught that discipline is a virtue and guilt the necessary motivator to stay disciplined.
Here’s the thing about guilt: it’s all you. Guilt is entirely internal, its the emotional result of you comparing yourself to some standard that you’ve unconsciously accepted – in this case as it relates to your health habits.
And thinking you lack discipline is a way to self-sabotage and manipulate yourself into thinking that you’re missing some integral skill or capability to get things done (like eating healthy, finding time for the gym etc…).
This kind of thinking can be really damaging and in the end it gets in the way of you being as healthy as you can be.
Fortunately, there’s a totally different way of looking at this – a perspective that will free you from the guilt that’s plaguing you.
Habits Over Discipline
In reality we are all disciplined. It just comes down to the behaviours and habits we are disciplined to.
If I’ve eaten something sweet every night for 2 years, it’s fair to say that I have a habit of eating sugar at night. You could say I’m really disciplined at replaying that behaviour over and over again.
…but it’s not a good habit!
And if I try to stop eating sugar at night and fail, I feel the guilt of failing to meet my expectations for myself and blame my lack of discipline.
Or, I could recognize that eating sugar at night is a bad habit I’ve developed and the only solution is to replace that habit with a better one (like NOT eating sugar at night).
But, there’s actually a necessary step that has to come before this: How do you even know what a ‘good’ habit is for YOU?
And for YOU I mean – what habits best reflect your own values; what habits do you need to create/build the life of your dreams?
Whoa! Things just got big, and probably a little bit scary.
Whats that saying…? Feel the fear and do it anyway.
Let’s bring it back to your health. Let’s say you and I are having a conversation and I ask you:
“What do you want your health to look like in 1/5/10 years time?”
Pretty quickly we would come up with a list of traits and behaviours that represent your version of the healthy body you want in 1/5/10 years from now. Think of it like your ‘health vision.’
Now imagine I then asked you:
“What habits do you think are required in order to make that vision come true?”
It wouldn’t take us long to come up with a pretty comprehensive list of habits you already know about: Simple habits that – if done over a long enough period of time – will guarantee your success. (things like – prepping healthy food every week, making it to the gym 3x/wk, moving every day, getting 8hrs of sleep every night, avoiding sugar at night etc…)
We would then prioritize these habits using the ‘biggest bang-for-buck’ method and create a plan for instituting these habits one at a time.
I’m not suggesting that changing your habits is easy… In fact it can seem almost impossible. That’s why the first step is so important. Having a clear vision of what you want your health to be like in the future gives you the power to overcome the resistance.
To help you get started, here’s a great blog post by Dr. Mike outlining the best strategies to making habits stick.
What’s next?
Getting caught up in the guilt and shame of being undisciplined is a small game. Recognizing that you have one life to shape into what you want it to be is THE big game. Focus on the big game.
Don’t know how?
Join us for our next Think By Design workshop and we will show you the 5 essential steps to creating the life you want and deserve.
Dr. John MacPhee is a Chiropractor, speaker and passionate health and wellness expert. He has inspired thousands of people to take control of their own health using the Life By Design method. Dr. John is co-owner of The Wellness Group, the largest Life By Design Certified Chiropractic office in Canada. Apart from full time practice, John maintains a busy speaking schedule, with a particular emphasis on improving productivity and focus at work. Otherwise you can find John training hard at CrossFit 613, exploring Gatineau Park, or holed away studying the latest research at various cafes across the west end.
